God Has a Sense of Humor

Rule #1 regarding sick children: If they can both get sick at the same time - especially if upchucking is involved - they will. You'll know God's going for a belly laugh if mom is similarly afflicted and dad is out of town.

Rule #2: The moment you manage to drag everyone to the doctor (after a harrowing car ride where you're audibly begging everyone in the car, including yourself, not to upchuck), fevers will magically drop and the kids will begin asking for milkshakes. The doctor will give you the "I'll put up with you because you're paying me to check out your non-sick children, but you're a hypochondriac" look and send you home with instructions to rest, push liquids and Advil - and maybe schedule a mom-only vacation sometime soon.

Rule #3: At least one of the kids will throw up in the car on the way home.

Rule #4: The horrible smell will force you to pull over on the way home so you can throw up.

Rule #5: After you get them all home, cleaned up, tucked into various comfortable positions on the living room couches and asleep, you'll collapse in a chair thinking you just can't do this anymore. Then you'll flip through TV channels and catch a late night running of "Oprah" - the one with the families of autistic children talking so eloquently about their daily struggles and sacrifices just to get their children to put a shirt on or say "hi." You'll get down on your knees, thank God you have two (usually) healthy children and ask God to forgive you for griping about the occasional barf.

Rule #6: You'll wake up the next morning to the sound of "She's taking my puzzle!" and "She hit me with the book!"...and you'll smile...partly because your kids are now back to normal, and partly because your husband is now home, so you can kick him out of bed (gently and with much love, of course) to handle it. :-)