Go Big Or Go Home

Fair warning: I'm in a bad mood...seeing great opportunities thrown away ticks me off.

I just caught Britney Spears' "comeback" performance opening the MTV Video Music Awards - somebody help this child.

Granted, she could never sing, but she used to be able to entertain the heck out of a crowd - she was a great dancer, she was smart enough to surround herself with even better dancers, and most of her production numbers were fantastically choreographed. This VMA performance was supposed to jump-start her career, stalled by a few years of trashy weddings, back-to-back baby making, bad parenting, panty-missing escapades (seriously, what woman goes around commando, especially in a short skirt - eeewww!). If her publicist and agent thought they'd had to work hard to this point to salvage dear Brit's career, they were probably crying in the bathroom after her performance tonight, calling home frantically to say, "Please don't make me go out there and try to defend that!"

It was bad...BAD...BAAAADDDD. Horrible song, hideous outfit barely covering a terribly out-of-shape body, botched lip-synching - and the most tragic from my point of view - pathetic dancing. If you're going to get up on that stage in front of a worldwide audience, you better bring it - and clothe it in a designer outfit - and shake what yo mama gave ya.

(And no one whine to me about how rough Britney's had it lately - the chick makes $700,000 A MONTH - she can afford personal trainers, nutritionists, therapists, stylists and choreographers to attend to her every need, get her as healthy as possible, and help her find her spark again.)

Told you I was in a bad mood.

Anyway, maybe that's the problem - maybe, Britney, you need to get away from all the stuff that comes along with all that money - the possessions as well as the hangers-on who will tell you anything you want to hear as long as you pay them for it. Go home...go back down south to Louisiana...live quietly for a while...learn to parent your precious little boys...go find out why God has blessed you so much and why you're so determined to (consciously or subconsciously) destroy it all. Go find out what you really want, and then go after it - I mean really go after it.

And while you're at it, honey, find your panties.