Yep, I'm That Kind Of Mom

Lately, there's been trouble in the kingdom - Princess E has been exhibiting the kind of bad attitude and diva behavior I was hoping (ok, praying fervently) would stay away until at least tweendom. So I sat down last week to have a talk (cue the "dum-dum-duuuum" music) with said princess, trying to figure out what the heck's going on with my little Lauren Conrad-in-training.

Here's a shocker - apparently it's (gasp!) my fault.

The Princess is tired - worn out from a summer of running around, playing, swimming, etc. And when she gets tired, things get ugly - pea soup-spitting ugly. This has been true since her earliest Baby Diva Princess days - next time you see him, ask the King of our castle about the time she got so mad during a 3 a.m. diaper change she shot poop three feet across the room. Of course, he didn't realize the extent of the poop-shootage until the next morning, when upon seeing poop plastering the walls about three feet from her changing table, I ran out of the room screaming, "Oh dear Lord, what the h$#* is that?"

But I digress...apparently I've committed the same sin many parents today are guilty of - overscheduling. I usually try to get the Princesses out of the house at least once a day to do something - go to the pool, play with friends, go out to eat, hit the playground, etc. Apparently that's too much. I didn't want them to get bored hanging around the house - sue me.

Actually, it's deeper than that, and it's one of the reasons I waited so long to have little princesses. Secret confession time: I'm just don't get the whole little kid "play" thing. I don't know how to play, and I was afraid they'd be bored with me. I dreaded the day they'd want more than me singing "Wheels on the Bus" and tickling their tummies. Well, that day's come -and I knew I would suck at it.

I am aware that this sounds incredibly stupid, but bear with me for a moment. I grew up in an isolated part of Arkansas with no kids regularly around me to play with until I started school (first grade, since at that time kindergarten wasn't a requirement, so most rural schools didn't have them - just keep your Arkansas jokes to yourself - and no whistling the "Deliverance" theme either). I don't know what I did to play before I learned to read, but as soon as I did, I just read. All the time. Needless to say, I didn't really fit in with the other kids when I got to school - I was the poster child for an "old soul." I never won any popularity contests, people.

So I don't get it - the games, the tea parties, the endless rounds of "I Spy," etc. I try to play with them, and play along with their very imaginative games, as much as possible, but I am the worst at being creative, coming up with fun things to do, and especially doing anything creative and spontaneous - ugh. I really suck at that.

I've tried books, websites, etc. for ideas, but they all seem so crafty and involved and complicated - and requiring an imagination I'm just missing. But, like any good queen, I'm soldiering on - trying to fix things before the Princesses require multiple years of therapy. On Friday, we had a pajama day - we sat around, watched movies, ate popcorn and just hung out. Princess E seemed to really enjoy it and seemed a little less diva-ish this weekend. And, I'm going to try to slow August down and just hang out with them a little more. I'm sure they'll run screaming from the room within a day, begging me to take them anywhere for some fun, but I'm going to give it my best shot.

Just in case...does anyone know of a therapist who gives a group rate?