Shake What Your Mama Gave 'Ya

Lord help us all, I'm teaching dance again.

My dear friend Julie - who owns Briscuso Dance in Ballwin with her mom - lured me back with the promise that she would neither post embarrassing video on YouTube nor blackmail me with photos of how big my tush really is.

So, if any of y'all have ever wanted to channel Beyonce, check out the Monday at 6 p.m. Hip Hop class. Be warned - this is old school hip hop - mainly because I'm too rusty to try to do anything but revive what I once knew. I'm working my way up to the new stuff - and just praying I don't break anything getting there.

If the thought of putting on a leotard and dancing in front of a mirror gives you heart palpitations, then come to my Wednesday 8 p.m. class - I'm calling it Move 'N Groove just 'cause I can't think of anything else to call it. It's for all of us who are flabby from babies, desk jobs, or just a reluctance to sweat - we're just going to put on some good music, turn away from the mirrors (like I want to look at my fat thighs in the mirror - girl, please!), and start gettin' our groove back. No particular style - a little of this, a little of that - whatever gets us up and moving again.

No experience in dance is needed at all. Also, no leotards or even particularly tight clothes are required - and no perfectly toned little bodies are allowed. Cellulite is the only requirement for this class - and maybe a desire to dance to something other than the Doodlebops. Ugh. No Doodlebops, I swear.

Give it a try - I promise you'll have a good time. I may be old, flabby and totally out-of-shape, but turn on some music, and I'll get us all shakin' it and laughing while we do it.

And of course, if you explain the...ahem...possible fringe benefits of getting your groove back to your significant other, he might just fall all over himself to take care of the kids while you take the class. Men are so easily motivated.