Whiners Beware

So I know I have at least a couple of male readers lurking out there. Be warned - I'm about to do some wholesale male bashing. I'm ticked. Sue me.

On the other hand, maybe you can help answer a burning question: WHY are men such wussies?

My dear hubby, the King of our tiny little kingdom, is driving me nuts. He has acquired the sinus infection that Princess G has been suffering with for the past couple of weeks, and oy vey, the kvetching (Yiddish is so much more fun than English). This is not out of character for him.

This is the man who, while sitting at my hospital bedside, called his friends the day after the birth of Princess E to describe in detail how exhausted HE was from MY 46 hour labor. ("I've been up for three days, and I swear I'm so sleep-deprived I'm hallucinating." Yes, ladies, he said that to someone in front of me.) If I could have gotten my battered Dixie Treasure and emergency c-section cut-up body out of that hospital bed, I would have beaten the crap out of him.

To his credit, he did apologize later (finally) for that egregious breach of post-birth etiquette (don't men realize that moms alone are allowed to gather sympathy for our birth stories? Jerks.). But heavens to Betsy, this is a pattern that has made me crazy since we got married. The man thinks he's dying when he gets an ingrown toenail. He gets a headache - it's a tumor. He pulls a muscle - he's a prime candidate for reconstructive surgery.

So now he's got this sinus infection, and he's moaning about body aches, asking what medicine we have on hand and generally moping around the house. I should just ignore this and not let it get to me, right? But AAAGHH! I also caught the sinus infection, and like moms all over do every day, just kept going. There's no being sick in MommyLand, dear readers. You just suck it up (or quietly throw it up) and charge ahead. If you've been in MommyLand long enough, you realize it's not even worth it to mention that you're sick, because no one cares. (Actually, that's not true. Your fellow mommies do, but chances are they're pushing through their own quarantine-worthy illnesses and can only offer so much support.)

Added to it, I deal with chronic pain every day. I have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and fibromyalgia, and that combination pretty much ensures that some part of my body is aching every day. (My co-workers may have noticed that lately, when they come in my office to talk, I have to completely turn around. That's because I can't turn my head to the left at the moment.) When I'm having an EDS flare-up, the pain level can become almost unbearable.

But hey, I'm a mom, and an employee, and a friend, and a Sunday School teacher, etc. I don't have time to give into it or talk about it. Yes, it hurts, but there are a lot of people dealing with a lot worse (my mom has rheumatoid arthritis - that really sucks), and there are people depending on me to get out of bed and take care of business. So I do. And I'm sure I'm not even close to the only woman out there who does this.

So men, here's the deal. We love you (most of the time), and we know you get sick and hurt, too. And we'll take care of you when you need it. But make sure it's when you really need it. And ask the woman in your life how she's doing every once in a while, but make sure you pay attention long enough to really hear the answer. You just might make her life a little easier if you do.

And we all know if mama's happy, everybody's happy. And we all know what "happy" means, right? (Long pause.) Yes, that is what it means. You're welcome.