He's Good, And That Works For Me

A couple of weeks ago my knight in shining armor and I went to our first-ever "marriage seminar." We've been married 15 years; at this point, I think we're due for an award just because neither of us has ever kicked the other out in a rage or thrown anything at the other - not that we haven't thought about it, but still, we haven't actually done it.

Anyway, we went to Focus on the Family's simulcast marriage conference, and although I have to admit being a little skeptical going in (I'm too private a person to usually get into this sort of thing), I came out a changed person. All the speakers - Gary Thomas, Dr. Del Tackett (love him - check out his blog ASAP - and if you ever get the chance to experience The Truth Project, do it), Gary Smalley and John Trent - were wonderful, but by far my favorite was Beth Moore.

Now, I'd heard conflicting reports about Beth. Some women love her, while I think some others find her a little..ahem...direct. This was my first "Beth experience," and I thought she was absolutely fantastic. Maybe I relate to her because she's a mouthy Southern chick with a wicked sense of humor. (Check out her blog to see what I mean.) Maybe it's because she and I can both be called the "Trifecta of Evil," aka a Southern Christian conservative (along with another new favorite of mine, Allison Worthington). But maybe it's because her marriage is far from perfect, as she was brutally honest about, but it's good. And good is good.

Sound like she's telling us to settle? No way. Beth's message is that women have an infatuation with idealism - we always want something better. We want that "honeymoon period" that we initially experience - that physical need for each other and feeling of total love and satisfaction - to last forever. And why shouldn't we? Isn't that what the great romances in literature, movies and TV show us is the norm?

Yeah, uh-huh. You get back to me with that overwhelming feeling of love when you've got a toddler gnawing on your ankle, a newborn throwing up on you, leaky boobs, piled-up laundry, dirty dishes and a sacked-out hubby completely oblivious to it all and totally surprised that you've got a butcher knife in your hand and are charging toward him.

Not that I ever did that. It certainly wasn't a butcher knife. Technically, anyway.

But I digress. Beth's point is simple. We've always been told to look for someone to "complete" us, and that is impossible to find. Man is as imperfect as woman is, and is wholly incapable of "completing" himself, so why in the world would we think a man could ever "complete" us?

Only God can complete us. Jesus gives us everything we need. He fills in what is incomplete in our marriage, and in our lives in general. We can't look to a man to do that, because we'll never be satisfied. And if we're not satisfied, ladies, you know ain't nobody in your house happy.

The problem is, we're looking in the wrong place. And we're longing for that overwhelming feeling of love to come back. It is going to come back - we'll find it in Heaven with Jesus. That longing we have is for eternity, and when we get there, we'll feel way beyond what we even think we're looking forward to. We can't even comprehend what that kind of love will feel like - and that feeling won't ever go away. Now that's my idea of a honeymoon!

So in the meantime, I'm looking at my dear knight in a completely different way. His job is not to complete me. His job is to love and cherish and protect and comfort me to the very best of his totally imperfect ability. He's good - and I'm good - and we're good together. And that, pre-eternity, is quite good enough for me.