God Is With Us

As our pastor pointed out at our church's Christmas Eve service, the true joy in Christmas - indeed, the very reason we celebrate it - is because Jesus' birth meant that God is with us. On Earth. In the flesh. In a real town that's still there today. Seen, touched, raised and followed by real people. Real people just like you and me, holding a real, precious, beautiful new baby. What an awesome thought!

God is with us - and I pray that everyone who reads this blog knows that in your heart and soul. If not, or if you want to learn more, read on here.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

Ready For Christmas

So sorry I've been AWOL for a week. Let's just say I've been a little busy. Among the pre-Christmas activities with which I have involved myself (few of which, please note, actually involve anything in preparation for Christmas):

• We survived the Birthday Party Extravaganza.
• The very next day, we spent several hours in the ER after an unfortunate encounter between a grocery cart and Princess G, supervised (and I use the term loosely) by her dad. (Mental note: don't ever get into a fight with a grocery cart around Christmas. They're tired, they're cold and they're angry.) The good news is there were no broken bones in the foot that got caught and dragged underneath the cart, and she will be okay. The bad news is the poor thing is just now able to haltingly walk again and won't be wearing shoes for a while yet. On a related note, the King is now hoping one of my readers is willing to donate an air mattress to put in our garage and improve his current sleeping conditions. He isn't quite able to stretch out completely in his car and is now unable to turn his head due to the crick in his neck. (Heh heh, snicker, snicker...I mean, poor man.)
• Due to her accident, Princess G was of course home from preschool (it's only two days a week, but I'm in the office when she's there, so when she's not there, it's kind of an issue) so I did the mad scramble to juggle the princess/work/meetings/deadlines, yada yada.
• It was the last week of dance and gymnastics lessons and school for Princess E, so we had to knock out all those teacher gifts, which of course this year involved me making fudge and brownies for all of them. My initial thinking was that this was a low-cost method of gift-giving in a time when cutting back is a universally good idea. But of course, I neglected to remember that God has a sense of humor and likes to remind me of it at the most opportune moments, like when I'm thinking I have any business trying to channel my inner Paula Deen. I'm laughing on the inside. Truly I am.
• But wait, we're not done. Next, the King is offered and accepts a new job. Great news, right? Well, yes, technically it's great. But there's more to this drama that I'll have to wait a little longer to share with y'all. Let's just say this decision involved several late-night, ahem, discussions.

Just when we think we've finally reached the safety of a quiet weekend, the rug is pulled out from under us. Aunt Sharon succumbed to her short but brutal bout with cancer Friday afternoon. We were grateful to have several weeks more with her than the doctors thought we'd have. She's with Jesus now and no longer in pain, and we are so, so grateful for that knowledge, but we miss her, and we mourn our loss.

So, we're limping in body and spirit, but we're making it through. We're snuggling down together, huddling for warmth in these frigid temperatures. (Side note: someone please tell me where Al Gore is hanging out these days so I can track him down and slap that man silly. Global warming, my cold, goose-pimpled tush.) Tomorrow we're planning to sit Princess G on the kitchen counter (with the Queen supervising!) and make lots of fattening cookies, cobbler (wish me luck, Amber!) and fudge. Then I'm on the TiVo hunt to find and watch all my favorite Christmas movies I haven't seen yet, "Christmas Vacation" being top of the list. ('Cause there is nothing funnier than Chevy Chase and a crazed squirrel attack at the holidays, and I need me some funny right about now.)

Y'all stay warm and knock back a hot cocoa or two. And be on the lookout for a cookie-baking report that hopefully won't involve the fire department or emergency surgery.

Music To My Ears

I love this time of year. Especially the torturing of children part.

Not physically, you sicko. No, I mean the mental torture that we adults benignly call "the annual visit to Santa Claus." Let's think about this from the child's point of view

• You're forced to get all dressed up in uncomfortable and usually scratchy clothes
• You're made to stand in line without any drinks or snacks - don't want to get those clothes dirty before the photos, darlin'!
• A grouchy elf who's obviously been eating all the snacks you've been wishing for pushes you up in front of...
• This large hairy man dressed in weird, blood-red clothes and screaming "Ho Ho Ho" in your face while trying to grab you and pull you up to sit on his knee.

This isn't a memorable childhood experience - it's a bad outtake from a "Stranger Danger" video. No wonder the little darlings run screaming. It's a miracle they don't spend the rest of the Christmas season twitching uncontrollably every time anyone mentions the name "Santa."

But, of course, we parents continue dressing them up in outfits they wouldn't be caught dead in otherwise and dragging them out in the freezing weather to wail at the first sight of the Big Red Dude. It's a rite of passage - or just another little memory to file away until they leave your home and begin a long relationship recounting the horrors of their childhood with their friendly neighborhood therapist.

Faithful readers may remember Princess G's reaction to Santa last year. Trying to be a little smarter this year, we skipped the possibility of a public nudity citation and caught him at the kids' Christmas party for the King's company. Surprisingly, neither princess ran away screaming, although Princess G made a pretty wide berth around Santa to get her present, while Princess E submitted to a two-second lap sit before thanking him for her present and getting the heck outta Dodge.

So, we had to make do this year with shrieks of terror from some of the other children attending the party, a few of whom you may hear in this priceless video of Princess G opening her present. Not that I've listened several times to snicker at the sound of the little boogers freaking out in the background or anything. Heh heh.

Of course, once Santa exited the building, the Princesses were all fired up to sit on his "throne." They are princesses, after all. So here they are, scratchy clothes and all, grinning ear-to-ear from a serious sugar high and thankful that, for another year, they've survived the trial that is The Great Santa Visitation.

The Christmas Countdown

Now that the giant stuff-fest we've labeled "Thanksgiving" has come and gone, we're in full swing for the Christmas season around our little fiefdom. Of course, that also means we're in "Princess E is about to be six!" mode as well, which this year involves a sleepover with not one, not two, but ten six-year-olds two weeks before Christmas.

Yes, I have officially lost my mind. Thanks for asking.

I'll be writing more about the Princess E Birthday Sleepover Extravaganza as it gets a little closer. I'm sure it'll be comedy blog nirvana. In the meantime, the decorations are up (I swear they multiply in storage like little rabbits every year), and we've got a December packed with great holiday celebrations. If you're in St. Louis and are looking for fun events that also help raise money for children's charities, here are a couple I highly recommend - and BTW, if you have any others to add to the list, shoot me a comment with all the details. Hope to see you out and about in December!

• Ranken Jordan Pediatric Specialty Hospital's "Shining Lights" event is Sunday, Dec. 7 from 2 - 5 p.m. Besides getting a beautiful family photo with Santa in an antique sleigh by an awesome local photographer, you also get a great look at this amazing hospital that does so much to help families heal after a devastating injury or accident. Tickets are $20 per family - try spending only a twenty on your family and having this much fun anywhere else in town.
• Forget mall shopping - hit the Ladue Chapel Nursery School Holiday Mart Thursday, Dec. 4 and Friday, Dec. 5 at Ladue Chapel Presbyterian Church. More than 40 vendors will be showing off all kinds of beautiful goodies, including children's artwork, jewelry and purses, and the kicker is that admission and parking is free. And, proceeds help support the preschool education programs at the Ladue Chapel Nursery School. Princess G isn't a student there, but I'm all for supporting high-quality preschool programs whenever possible. It's shopping for charity, ladies. Sounds like the best of both worlds to me!

God Bless Us, Every One

Why didn't I write over the holidays? A very sick Princess Grace, sniping relatives and sheer exhaustion are my excuses. But, I still had a good Christmas - wanna know why?

Even though the little one required an eight-hour ER stay and IV fluids/antibiotics, she got to come home, and now she's better. Thank you, God, for healing our princess - and please comfort those children, and their families, who didn't get to come home from the hospital for Christmas.

Yes, various relatives were taking shots (figurative ones - we're Southern, not trashy!) at one another most of the time, but at least we were all together, and we did manage to have some fun. Thank you, God, for giving us the opportunity to be together this year - and please comfort those whose loved ones were far away, and those who were mourning loved ones lost.

Did I get even less sleep than usual? Yes, but at least I had a warm bed to fall into every night and all the comfort food I could want (which I'll be working off for the next several months). Thank you, God, for blessing me so very much this Christmas - and please comfort those who feel lost and alone, and who don't have a safe place to sleep or food to eat.

My life is crazy, funny, frustrating, and exhausting - and I'm extremely blessed to have it. Thanks for reading my random thoughts and rants in 2007 - I hope you've had some laughs and found some value in it, and I hope you'll keep reading in 2o08. Happy New Year and God bless you.

Whooo, These Boys Can Sing!

(I'm blogging this one specifically for my friend Susan, who I know will love this.)

If you, like me, find the song "The Twelve Days of Christmas" one of the most annoying ever written, you might just change your mind after watching this performance. Enjoy!

You'll Shoot Your Eye Out

I love Christmas movies - "White Christmas," "It's A Wonderful Life," "The Polar Express," etc. I'm a sucker for all of them. But, my favorite by far is "A Christmas Story."

I've always wondered why I love this goofy movie so dang much - I'm the crazy person who keeps the TV tuned to TNT watching the 24-hour marathon of "A Christmas Story" on Christmas - drives my family nuts. This Guideposts story, about the man who started A Christmas Story House & Museum in Cleveland after buying the actual house from the movie on eBay (and who also makes and sells the infamous "leg lamps" - apparently quite the popular item), does a much better job than I ever could of explaining the movie's allure. Deep down, it's about hope and faith that families can find happiness, even if you have to put on a few pink rabbit suits and cut off a few duck heads to get there.

Fa-ra-ra-ra-raaaa-ra-ra-ra-ra to y'all!

The Great Christmas Card Quest

I was ready this year. Totally determined to personally take a masterpiece of a photo for our family Christmas card. No depending on professional photographers this year - or paying for them, either. I was going to take a classic photo and save a little money at the same time - total win-win for SuperMommy!

I had it all planned out in my head - the girls in cute little matching red Christmas outfits, Santa hats on their heads, our two "royal" welsh corgis (hey, you try telling them they're not directly related to Queen Elizabeth's stable o' corgis) wearing their cute little elf hats with matching collars. All of them sitting like little angels in front of the fireplace, smiling happily.

I know what you're thinking, and you're right - I have been hitting the eggnog a little early this year.

Here's what actually happened (like you couldn't see this coming from a mile away)

• 9 a.m. - Get Princess Grace in her outfit, complete with shoes and Santa hat


• 9:10 - Finally convince Princess Elizabeth that wearing her favorite purple leotard, pink skirt and green bow wasn't really the look we were going for - she begins putting on the red Christmas outfit to match her sister, grumbling about how she'll put on the outfit, but she's not going to wear a Santa hat - she instead grabs one of her tiaras


• 9:11 - Princess Grace walks nekkid into Princess Elizabeth's room (Note: for a definition of the word nekkid, review this post)


• 9:15 - Get Princess Grace back into her clothes - one shoe is still missing, as is the Santa hat - find hat stuffed under dog bed - begin futile attempt to brush dog hair off of red Santa hat


• 9:20 - Get both girls into the bathroom to fix hair and arrange hats - girls begin smacking each other with hats - Princess E cries - Princess G giggles and hits her again


• 9:21 - Take hats away and decide to go with hair bows


• 9:22 - Chase Princess G, who has bolted (still giggling) at the mere suggestion of wearing a bow, around three bedrooms


• 9:25 - Get Princess G back in the bathroom and clip bow in hair - she immediately starts screaming that she wants Princess E's bow instead - Princess E says fine, she wants a tiara anyway, and throws her bow at Princess G


• 9:30 - Forget the bows and herd everyone downstairs - find Princess G's missing shoe on the way down the stairs


• 9:35 - Begin trying to put elf hats and collars on dogs


• 9:45 - Give up trying to put elf hats and collars on dogs


• 9:46 - Dogs begin eating elf hats and collars (corgis will eat anything - over the course of his 12-year life, our oldest, Elvis, has eaten a Duraflame log, a pound of fudge, drywall and a linoleum floor. As God is my witness.)


• 9:47 - Take hats and collars away from dogs - try to get them to sit in front of the girls


• 9:50 - Ask the princesses to put their arms around the dogs in an effort to get them to sit still - our big corgi, Winston (he looks like Churchill - seriously), begins dragging Princess G across the floor - Princess G begins screaming but refuses to let go


• 9:51 - Disengage Princess G from Winston - begin futile attempt to brush dog hair off red outfit


• 9:55 - Give up and decide to try to take photo outside, where it's sunny and 70 degrees (I know, completely weird weather)


• 9:56 - Remind princesses not to step off patio in their dress shoes to avoid dog poop


• 9:57 - Princess G runs off patio and steps in dog poop - Princess E wrinkles her nose in disgust and heads back into the house


• 9:58 - Begin trying to clean poop off shoe - Elvis wanders into yard and makes more poop


• 10 a.m. - Herd everyone back into house - pick up phone and call Target Portrait Studio to make appointment for Christmas card photos - while I'm on hold, Princess G wanders past me...nekkid